I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
