I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
