so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
im on a boat
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