i think my tv is drunk
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
