well you can't waste a boner
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
