she was so not down for the gang bang
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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