wat bout pragnant strippers??
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
