so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
what day is it and did you see me today?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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