Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Randomize
