Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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