got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
