No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
