Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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