A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
