Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
