so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you will always have a special place in my vag
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
