I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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