Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
