Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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