PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
i need some magic done to my vagina
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
