Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
