I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
