i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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