I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize