She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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