She is in my trunk
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
so much tequila, so little girl.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
