So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
