Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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