Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
