the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
