Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
how do you play pong handcuffed?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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