I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
