you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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