the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
