...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
