Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
