this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
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