Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
