i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize