Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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