Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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