Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
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