There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Randomize
