i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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