I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
