Do you still have your period?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
