this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
