ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
