Need sex. Gaining weight.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize