After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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