I must be too annoying 4 u.
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
