So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
There r osticjed everywhere
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
