He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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