no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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