i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
