And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
