Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
