at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
