You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
