she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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