I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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