Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
