If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
