So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
