chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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