I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
