I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
