My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She even gives head with a lisp.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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