Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
