I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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