it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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