Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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