Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
