yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
sex in a hospital.. check
I think people are normalizing furries
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
