My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
