exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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