my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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