As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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