Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
