I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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