Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
